{"id":10463,"date":"2021-01-12T11:47:25","date_gmt":"2021-01-12T09:47:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bilena.eu\/?p=10463"},"modified":"2021-01-12T11:47:25","modified_gmt":"2021-01-12T09:47:25","slug":"%d0%b4%d0%b0-%d1%83%d0%b3%d0%b0%d0%b6%d0%b4%d0%b0%d1%88-%d0%bd%d0%b0-%d0%b2%d1%81%d0%b8%d1%87%d0%ba%d0%b8-%d0%b5-%d0%bf%d0%b0%d0%b3%d1%83%d0%b1%d0%bd%d0%be-%d0%b7%d0%b0-%d0%b7%d0%b4%d1%80%d0%b0%d0%b2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bilena.eu\/en\/%d0%b4%d0%b0-%d1%83%d0%b3%d0%b0%d0%b6%d0%b4%d0%b0%d1%88-%d0%bd%d0%b0-%d0%b2%d1%81%d0%b8%d1%87%d0%ba%d0%b8-%d0%b5-%d0%bf%d0%b0%d0%b3%d1%83%d0%b1%d0%bd%d0%be-%d0%b7%d0%b0-%d0%b7%d0%b4%d1%80%d0%b0%d0%b2\/","title":{"rendered":"Pleasing everyone is bad for your health"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n
\n
\n
\n

Some people believe that the key to being liked and accepted by other people is to always try to please everyone. Instead of making a decision based on what they want, they make their decisions based on what they think will make other people happy.<\/p>\n

If a friend wants to go to the movies, that's exactly what they'll do, even if they don't really feel like going to the movies. If the boss wants them to work on their day off, they will do just that, even though they had some plans for their day off. Such people believe that if they are good, pleasant and avoid conflicts, they will be accepted and liked by others.<\/p>\n

In reality, being nice all the time and trying to make everyone happy only makes your life worse and attracts people who only want to use you because they know you will always put their needs before yours.<\/p>\n

If you are the kind of person who always thinks about how others feel and tries to make sure everyone is happy, this article is for you.<\/p>\n

WHY PEOPLE PLEASING IS UNHEALTHY<\/p>\n

There are a number of reasons why trying to please everyone isn't good for you. They include:<\/p>\n

It is impossible to please everyone<\/strong><\/p>\n

Trying to please everyone puts you in an impossible situation. To please everyone means that you should always agree with the opinions, ideas and wishes of others and never complain even when they do things you don't like.<\/p>\n

However, even if you do all this, there are people who will never be satisfied even if you do everything they want.<\/p>\n

In other words, you can lay down to have people walk on you and still some will complain that you are not flat enough.<\/p>\n

You lose your identity<\/strong><\/p>\n

Everyone has their likes, their values, their life goals and their interests.<\/p>\n

Being authentic to your true, authentic identity means following your own goals and following your own dreams.<\/p>\n

The need to please others means you mold yourself into what others want.<\/p>\n

You pursue goals that you think others want you to pursue, you engage in the interests of others, you shape your personality according to what others expect of you, and so on. Eventually, you lose your true identity.<\/p>\n

You tie up your credit to please others<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n
\n
\"This<\/p>\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n

People pleasers have an innate need to be liked by everyone.<\/p>\n

They believe that if they do not act according to the wishes of others, they will be rejected.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, this puts you in a position where your sense of self-worth is derived from the pleasure of others.<\/p>\n

This becomes problematic because you will always feel unworthy when others reject or belittle you.<\/p>\n

You put your needs on the back burner<\/strong><\/p>\n

You are so focused on pleasing others that you forget about your own needs.<\/p>\n

For example, if your spouse asks you for money to buy something, you might give him the money even if you had planned to spend it on something you wanted.<\/p>\n

When your colleagues ask you to help them with their projects, you put your own projects on the back burner, causing you to miss deadlines or deliver low-quality work.<\/p>\n

You become dissatisfied<\/strong><\/p>\n

Everyone has their own needs.<\/p>\n

However, we have already seen that people pleasers often put their own needs aside to meet the needs of others.<\/p>\n

The problem with this is that people-pleasing gradually starts to become resentful.<\/p>\n

They begin to think that others do not care about their own needs and therefore develop some inner hatred towards these people, although they will continue to please them outwardly.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, this resentment and repressed emotions are unhealthy, both for your mental and physical health.<\/p>\n

They interfere with real and meaningful relationships<\/strong><\/p>\n

To create real and meaningful relationships with others, you need to be authentic and show your true self. You need to show the other person what you like, what you don't like, what your real interests are, etc.<\/p>\n

As a people pleaser, however, you are always masking your emotions and agreeing to the wishes of others.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, this is a false version of you that you project, and it will be impossible to build real, meaningful relationships if you are constantly projecting a false version of yourself.<\/p>\n

People are using you<\/strong><\/p>\n

When you are constantly trying to please everyone around you, you are essentially opening yourself up to abuse from others.<\/p>\n

People know that you will put their needs before yours, and so they will constantly come to you with all kinds of requests because they know that you will not be able to say no to them.<\/p>\n

By being a people pleaser, you make yourself an easy target for manipulators.<\/p>\n

The worst part is that you may not even realize you are being used because being there for others makes you feel wanted.<\/p>\n

If you've been the type of person who always tries to please other people, it's time to realize that you can't please everyone, and that there's nothing wrong with that.<\/p>\n

In fact, trying to please everyone is detrimental to you.<\/p>\n

Instead of trying to please everyone, it's time to prioritize yourself and start focusing on things you want, things that make you happy.<\/p>\n

Sure, you might lose a few friends when you do this, but you'll end up making better friends and creating more meaningful relationships.<\/p>\n

Don't expect to make a 180-degree turn overnight.<\/p>\n

Instead, focus on taking baby steps, focus on one habit at a time, and you'll gradually stop being a people pleaser and become more confident.<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u041d\u044f\u043a\u043e\u0438 \u0445\u043e\u0440\u0430 \u0432\u044f\u0440\u0432\u0430\u0442, \u0447\u0435 \u043a\u043b\u044e\u0447\u044a\u0442 \u043a\u044a\u043c \u0442\u043e\u0432\u0430 \u0434\u0430 \u0431\u044a\u0434\u0435\u0448 \u0445\u0430\u0440\u0435\u0441\u0432\u0430\u043d \u0438 \u043f\u0440\u0438\u0435\u0442 \u043e\u0442 \u0434\u0440\u0443\u0433\u0438 \u0445\u043e\u0440\u0430 \u0435 \u0432\u0438\u043d\u0430\u0433\u0438 \u0434\u0430 \u0441\u0435 \u043e\u043f\u0438\u0442\u0432\u0430\u0448 \u0434\u0430 \u0443\u0433\u043e\u0434\u0438\u0448 \u043d\u0430 \u0432\u0441\u0438\u0447\u043a\u0438. \u0412\u043c\u0435\u0441\u0442\u043e \u0434\u0430 \u0432\u0437\u0435\u043c\u0430\u0442 \u0440\u0435\u0448\u0435\u043d\u0438\u0435 \u0432\u044a\u0437 \u043e\u0441\u043d\u043e\u0432\u0430 \u043d\u0430 \u0442\u043e\u0432\u0430, \u043a\u043e\u0435\u0442\u043e \u0438\u0441\u043a\u0430\u0442, \u0442\u0435 \u0432\u0437\u0435\u043c\u0430\u0442 \u0440\u0435\u0448\u0435\u043d\u0438\u044f\u0442\u0430 \u0441\u0438 \u0432\u044a\u0437 \u043e\u0441\u043d\u043e\u0432\u0430 \u043d\u0430 \u0442\u043e\u0432\u0430, \u043a\u043e\u0435\u0442\u043e \u0441\u043f\u043e\u0440\u0435\u0434 \u0442\u044f\u0445 \u0449\u0435 \u043d\u0430\u043f\u0440\u0430\u0432\u0438 \u0434\u0440\u0443\u0433\u0438\u0442\u0435 \u0445\u043e\u0440\u0430 \u0449\u0430\u0441\u0442\u043b\u0438\u0432\u0438. \u0410\u043a\u043e \u043f\u0440\u0438\u044f\u0442\u0435\u043b \u0438\u0441\u043a\u0430 \u0434\u0430 \u043e\u0442\u0438\u0434\u0435 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":10464,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"default","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"default","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[64],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10463","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-interesno"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilena.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10463","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilena.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilena.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilena.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/23"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilena.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10463"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bilena.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10463\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilena.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10464"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bilena.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10463"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilena.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10463"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bilena.eu\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10463"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}